I know it's only rock 'n' roll but Mark Twain Award likes it

MARK TWAIN AWARD traveled to POTOSI, WIS., on Independence Day to ROCK with tri-state area groove merchants SID V & THE HUMAN RESOURCES.
It was like "Highway 61 Revisited" down to "Sweet Home Alabama" when Mark Twain Award climbed "Jacob's Ladder" to "Wipe Out" with a "Brown Eyed Girl."
Mark Twain Award was feeling nothing like "Johnny B. Goode." In fact, he had something like the "Folsom Prison Blues" once the show had ended and we had to place him back in Emily Kittle's handbag.
It was a great time while it lasted, however, as Mark Twain Award said he "Can't Help Falling in Love" with vocalist/guitarist/bon vivant Matt Kittle and his "Blue Suede Shoes."

MARK TWAIN AWARD's Fun Fast Facts About Frisco

1) You should never call it "Frisco." It irks the locals. Don't call it "San Fran," either.
Call it by the full name, "SAN FRANCISCO," or -- if you are feeling particularly sophisticated -- call it "THE CITY."
2) Don't come to town expecting to see gay men dressed up like the VILLAGE PEOPLE.
You will be sorely disappointed. Gay men only dress up outrageously about twice a year, both times for certain parades.
With their immaculate grooming and office-job attire, gay men actually look like Young Republicans -- one of San Francisco's great ironies.
Besides, it will be tough to spot gay men in San Francisco: The vast majority of The City's residents are ASIAN AMERICANS.
3) Speaking of... if you really want to glimpse ASIAN AMERICAN culture, give CHINATOWN a cursory look, then head over to CLEMENT STREET in the Richmond District.
English-language storefront signs are difficult to find on Clement, and the shops offer some of the same Chinese items for as much as three-fourths the price as the crowded stores in Chinatown.
4) Forget RICE-A-RONI. The real local delicacy is the San Francisco-style BURRITO. Taquerias throughout town sell this full-meal-in-a-tortilla, and Web sites such as Burritoeater.com (here) devote numerous pages to the best offerings in town.
Locals wash down their burritos with a cold Belgian beer called HOEGAARDEN.
5) Which brings us to the final fact: Despite the wine-sipping image, San Francisco is a BIG BEER-DRINKING TOWN.
You'll probably crack up when you see your first INDIE ROCK HIPSTER guzzling a can of PABST BLUE RIBBON. Don't fear: Most bars have fine beers on tap, with the aforementioned Hoegaarden and Germany's FRANZISKANER among the favorites. You'll want to drink TSING TAO with your Chinese food and ASAHI with your sushi.

"Some d--m place across the Bay"

OAKLAND, the eighth-largest city in California, has been the birthplace of numerous notables of the stage, screen, playing field and letters: Buster Crabbe, Robert Duncan, The Pointer Sisters, Max Baer Jr., MC Hammer, Galen Rowell, Jimmy Rollins, Dontrelle Willis, Erik Hogstr-- Oh OK, I'll stop.
Oakland grew from a railroad terminus to become a major West Coast port and industrial center, as well as a cultural melting pot of some renown.
Mark Twain famously struggled to reach Oakland for an 1868 speaking appearance. According to contemporary reports, Samuel Clemens madly rushed around the Oakland and Alameda ferry landings, on the San Francisco side, frantically inquiring about he could reach the site of a dinner "at some d—m place across the Bay."
Why didn't Twain simply follow the example of his namesake MARK TWAIN AWARD? Mark Twain Award had no problem reaching Oakland. He just hopped on BART and rode it through the TRANSBAY TUBE. It was easy!
Mark Twain Award toured the LAKE MERRITT area, even stopping at the famous proto-theme park, CHILDREN'S FAIRYLAND.
Then, after a morning in the city, Mark Twain Award hopped on BART and rode back to SAN FRANCISCO. No problem!

No contest, according to Award

Historians can't answer the question: Did Mark Twain actually say "the coldest winter I ever spent was the summer in San Francisco?"
Well, MARK TWAIN AWARD traveled the breadth of SAN FRANCISCO, from BAY BRIDGE (top) to GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE (bottom), and can say with certainty that the coldest winter he ever spent was the *^%&$#@! WINTER OF 2007 in DUBUQUE!
Record snowfall of 78.7 inches versus foggy mornings that give way to afternoon sunshine and 65 degrees? No contest!

Welcome to the "city of startling events"

"San Francisco is a city of startling events. Happy is the man whose destiny it is to gather them up and record them in a daily newspaper!"
-- Letter from Mark Twain to the Territorial Enterprise, 1865.
MARK TWAIN AWARD enjoyed his own series of startling events during a recent trip to SAN FRANCISCO. Check this Web site in the coming days for Mark Twain Award's adventures in the GOLDEN STATE.
(The above photo was taken at Mark Twain Place, a signed alley off Sansome, between Clay and Washington streets in the San Francisco Financial District.)

Something borrowed, something blue, something gold and shiny

Former THer EMILY ANN KLEIN married THOMAS ROBERT SHEDEK Saturday, and MARK TWAIN AWARD seemed to enjoy the festivities.
He posed with the bride, draped flowers over his shiny body and participated in some sort of dice game at one of the rowdier tables. Mark Twain Award otherwise behaved himself.
"People talk about beautiful friendships between two persons of the same sex. What is the best of that sort, as compared with the friendship of man and wife, where the best impulses and highest ideals of both are the same. There is no place for comparison between the two friendships; the one is earthly, the other divine." -- Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"

Mark Twain Award versus the beaver

Talk about a close call!
We arrived just in time to rescue MARK TWAIN AWARD today, after this hungry BEAVER eyed the award's wooden base and muttered something about "found a little something for the lodge."
Now see here, beaver, there are plenty of trees in the forest and Mark Twain Award is not intended for gnawing.
We threatened to give the beaver the full "Mississippi River fur trapper" treatment. He dropped Mark Twain Award, stuck his (big, flat) tail between his legs and scampered out of the newsroom.
The entire episode reminded us of that time a well-hydrated dog happened upon Mark Twain Award in the park, lifted his hind leg and... oh... now THAT was a close call!